Flying Carpet or Falling Rug?

Just when you think your flying carpet is ready for a smooth ride, your carpet turns into a rug that someone is pulling out from under you.

This has been a very strange weekend. I learned yesterday at church that the young Marlins’ Pitcher Jose’ Fernandez had been killed in a boating accident. The boat he was in hit the jetty that reaches the entrance of Government Cut in the Port of Miami.  I’m very familiar with that area; I’ve been through the Cut several times but never at 3:00 am. As soon as I heard where he was I knew exactly what happened.

When my brother and I were in high school, we had three friends that were killed in a car accident. They were three young guys in a hot-rod going about 100 miles an hour when they ran head-on into a Mack truck. Needless to say they were killed instantly.

 I was drawn right back to that moment when I heard about Jose’ Fernandez.Three young guys out in a hot-rod boat and ran head-on into a rock jetty.  I believe this was a case, like our friends, that these guys were doing what young guys do, it’s sad and unfortunate but not that uncommon for guys and speed.

At the same time I heard that Arnold Palmer died. He had always been one of my dad’s favorites. With no disrespect to Jose’ Fernandez or Arnold Palmer, this also took me back to a time when I was pretty young maybe 9 or 10. We lived in the country and my dad was going to get gas in his car. Living where we did, anytime someone got into a car we begged to go along for the ride. Dad pulled into the gas station and pumped the gas, he then went inside to pay and I stayed in the car listening to the radio. Well I heard something on the radio that really upset me. I could hardly wait for my dad to come out so I could tell him the awful news I’d heard.

After what seemed like forever dad came out and I said “Dad, Dad, Arnold Palmer died!!” My dad looked at me like I had three heads and said “What do you mean?” With eyes the size of saucers I said “I just heard on the radio that he died, they said he dropped dead suddenly!” My dad paused for a moment and then seemed to have an epiphany. He asked me again, “what exactly did they say?” I repeated “they said he dropped dead suddenly!” Finally dad asked me “did they by any chance say ‘he dropped in sudden death’?” “I guess” said I, “he died in sudden death.”  At this point my dad started laughing hysterically, and if you know my dad that in and of it self is a rarity. At this point I was very confused. He then explained to me that in the game of golf when you go into extra holes, whoever loses is said to have ‘dropped in sudden death!’ When Michael got up on Sunday and I told him about Arnold Palmer he kinda chuckled and said “You have to tell your dad again that Arnold Palmer died?” “Yes”, only this time sadly it was true.  

To continue with the bizarreness of the day Sunday September 25^th is my daughter’s godson Cole's birthday. He would have been 18.  The reason I say would have,because two years ago he was 16, about 37 hours later on Saturday 27^th  he and two of his buddies were out night fishing and as they were making their way home on their bicycles, Cole was hit and killed by a drunk driver at about 1:00 am.

2014 was a really bad year for us. I had four knee surgeries and that was in reality the least of it. My mom had two very serious accidents and Mike and I lost 7 people that were close to us. The last one was Cole. In fact I had my 3^rd knee surgery just three days before Cole died. The others we lost were all older (not old) and had various health issues. But when Cole was killed, that really knocked the wind out of me. Cole's mother and my daughter have been friends since they were kids. Her family lives about 2 hours away so I haven’t seen them much in the past few years, but she still feels like one of mine. It was also the first time my grand-kids have gone through a loss like this. It was just wrong on so many levels. The only thing good is Cole was a believer and loved the Lord so we know we’ll all be together again.

As September 25 approached I thought about what I wanted to write about Cole. Little did I know that the day was going to turn into such a day of sadness, pain and memories? So I’ve decided to explain my feelings about Jose’ Fernandez and Arnold Palmer by republishing what I wrote to Cole’s family on September 28, 2014.

The World is Upside Down.

For Cole

Gerri Milosevich

September 28, 2014

We awaken every morning expecting the earth and the sun and the moon to be where it has always been, and then one day it happens, the world is upside down. 

We didn’t expect it, this is not the way it is supposed to be, we’ve planned and dreamed and even had conversations with ourselves as to what will happen in the next, 20, 30 40 maybe even 50 years, but today; the world is upside down.

It’s always the same, we are a nice family, we have a great son, this isn’t supposed to happen to nice people like us, but today it did, and the world is upside down.

God how could this happen? We believe in you and your son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit you are supposed to protect me and mine but you didn’t and today the world is upside down.

In spite of this, it isn’t God’s will, He didn’t take him, but He is there to meet our beloved son with pure love, the pure love that casts out all fear.

Though what we can’t see from here is a single tear rolling down God’s cheek as He weeps for us and gathers’ angels around us:

Friends who drop everything to come and meet our needs, loved ones to hold us as we cry, young people who cry, and laugh and remind us how special he was even though today the world, is upside down.

This isn’t God’s doing, he didn’t need another angel, this is earth fighting good and evil. We read in John 10:10 that the enemy comes to kill, to steal and to destroy, and today, the enemy killed our loved one, stole our hearts and destroyed the joy of all who loved a young man who is now singing WITH the angels. And because of THAT, because of the evil one, the world is upside down.

Lord, will the world ever turn upright? Will life ever become normal again… probably not? 

Yet in Jeremiah 31:13 it says, “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

And with God’s mercy and grace and unimaginable love, and the inconceivable power in the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we will learn to love, and laugh and to walk through a world that today… is upside down.  

9/11 Our Day That Lives in Infamy

9/11 started with me being frozen in time. I was born in the 1950’s so I was not around for the attack on Pearl Harbor. In spite of this I was old enough and close enough to hear the stories about it. My dad, like most dad’s had been in the war. He was a Navy man. Most of the dad’s I knew didn’t talk much about the war, they just wanted to get over it and move on. My cousin Dennis was only 4 months older than me and had been born on December 7^th, Pearl Harbor Day. Because of this it was something that we as a family talked about every year.

A close friend had met and married a beautiful Hawaiian woman during the war and brought her into our family. They rented a room from my grandmother and grew up with us as family. I didn’t realize until much later that the reason they lived with my grandmother was because the woman was very dark skinned and no one else would rent to them thinking she was black. I was probably a teen before I understood that they were not really our family. But to this day as far as we are all concerned, they are.

We all have our memories of September 11^th : as Franklin Roosevelt said in 1941, “a date which will live in infamy.”  On the evening of September 10^th we had a big party for our daughter Randee and her husband Keith. They were visiting from New Jersey and had wanted to see all of their friends. Randee needed to get back to NJ the next morning because of work, Keith was staying through the weekend because he had a gig on Saturday.

The next morning I got up early to say goodbye to my daughter and Keith dropped Randee off at FLL around 6 am for her flight and then he came home. By the time he got home, the first plane had hit the first Tower and then the second. All we knew was that Randee was on a plane to NYC and she was 6 months pregnant with our first grandchild.

Planes were being hijacked out of the air and at that time we didn’t know how many and to where, but they were all cross country flights, as was Randee's. To add even more anxiety, it had been announced that the hijackers lived in Coral Springs, Florida. After several hours went by, all four planes had crashed and both towers had fallen, we finally heard from her and she was fine.

For us the day ended well. Randee’s plane landed in Jacksonville and she was bused back to FLL. After an incredibly long day, we could finally breathe a sigh of relief. As with most Americans we just took one day at a time and finally got back to our new normal.

Three years passed and Randee was pregnant with our first granddaughter. She was due in the middle of September and as the date approached I looked at her and said “this baby is coming on September 11^th!”  She scoffed at me and turned away; at around 10:00 pm on September 10^th I got a call from Randee saying she was on her way to the hospital. By this time she was living back in Florida. We all rushed to the hospital and a few hours later on September 11, 2004, Miss Alexis Grace entered our world and it’s never been the same since. A day that was so awful had become a day to celebrate.  Jeremiah 31:13 “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

For us September 11^th is truly bitter sweet. God had taken a day of horror and turned it into a day of joy. So today, September 11^th, 2016, we are going to visit our beautiful grand-daughter and celebrate her 12^th birthday. I thank God for our joy but I still mourn for all those who were not as fortunate as we were.

We now have four incredible grand-children and they are all smart, funny, and talented as well as without any bias the most beautiful grand-children ever. Not one of the children was born before September 11, 2001. They will never know the fear and anxiety of that day, at least not the way we who experienced it can still feel. This is to them what Pearl Harbor was to me; a date on a calendar, a day they are told "will live in infamy". I pray they and we never have to go through this again, I just wish I could be sure.

Worrier or Warrior: The Difference a Day Makes

Worrier or Warrior:

The Difference a Day Makes

Today is a very important anniversary for me; 40 years ago today I faced one of the most difficult situations a woman can face. At the tender age of 25, I was wheeled into surgery to undergo a radical mastectomy. Yes, I had breast cancer. Impossible the doctors said, I was only 25, however it was true. Not only was it true but my cancer was estrogen based which meant 4 weeks later I had to have a complete hysterectomy.  Let’s just say 1976 was not a good year for me.

I find it ironic that I’m here writing about my story 40 years later, in 1976 it was a condition that was still whispered. Just before my diagnosis woman like Betty Ford, Happy Rockefeller and Shirley Temple had announced that they too had Breast Cancer. That was the first time I heard woman talk out loud about something so personal.

By God’s grace, I already had two children age 3 and 5. This day ended my ability to have anymore. I can tell you, few things will give you a paradigm shift in your thinking faster than lying in a hospital bed wondering if you will be alive to see your children grow up. As with every situation that is so difficult, one can become bitter or better. I vowed at that moment that nothing could stop me now. I’d been to hell and back and I lost my fear of just about anything. I won’t bore you with details but a great majority of my life until that day had been spent in and out of hospitals because of accidents, allergies (anaphylactic shock), other major illnesses etc, etc, etc. I sometimes joke that Satan has been trying to kill me since the day I was born and can’t do it so he just tries to make my life as difficult as possible. In spite of his attempts, I am a warrior and I don’t give up. Oh sure I have bad days like everyone but I can assure you that no matter how difficult one’s life is there is always someone out there that has it worse.  

So today on my 40^th Anniversary of the Big “C” I want to encourage others facing difficult times. Life is hard. It may seem as if others have a better life than you, don’t be so sure. I’ve learned that to smile, to laugh, to serve, to forgive and most importantly to give and receive love is the best way to get through this hard and unfair life. The more you keep your eyes on Jesus and give yourself to others, the less you will look at yourself and wallow in a hole of despair.

In one day, in one hour or in the blink of an eye life can change forever. What are you going to do with it? Are you going to be a worrier or a warrior? I’ve made my choice have you made yours?